Just a quick survey for Mac Owners :)
[poll id="6"]
[poll id="5"]
I’m tired of home. I feel like I have no freedom here. I think I’d rather live on the streets for a bit.
I had a lovely morning.. what about you?
“GOOD MORNING!”
“YOU’RE THE NAVIGATOR. I’M THE SIGHTSEER”
“OH SO YOU DO WANT RAISING CANES”
lol
I found a box of old letters I wrote and I wish I hadn’t. Damnit..
I strive using my blood, sweat, and fucking tears, fuckers.
I feel like photo blogging, blogging, and polling tonight.
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So… what have you been up to these past few days?
Lil Macau
& Town Square
Finally, I applied at Kohl’s and Barnes & Noble. Now I’m gonna apply for Office Max :(. Anybody know where I can get a good shipping/receiving or stock job? Preferably one that pays BANK. I need to make 3-6k over the summer ;). HELP ME OUT! Or if anybody knows anyone that would like shots(photography) done or a website designed/developed. PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I will give you 25% of my profit ;)… no joke. So what’s going to happen on August 1st? I’ve also come to realize that I am now a crazy motherfucker. Signing up for classes is a BIATCH for me. I refuse to go to CSN Cheyenne at this time in my life.
Just got home from running a few miles and damn I feel HELLA good. Kris and I decided to start running around the Summerlin area ( mostly around Palo Verde, Rosedale, Arbors Park, etc. ) every other day. You should join us :). It really is a good way to start the day ( or end the day if you’re Kris ). Anyone have any free weights I could borrow for a few months? Preferably 35-45lbs.
If you’re a WordPress user and would like to use this theme.. click TAKTEEKMEDIA to the right :)
So today was supposed to be the day I turn in my app at Kohl’s. Well this is what happened.. I got the app on the 20th and waited 3 days to turn it in, but then thought FUCK they’re gonna be like “it took him 3 days to turn in an app? wtf lazy”… so I wanted to wait til the 28th so I could change the 0 to an 8 and when I did that today I saw that I had used a black pen and fked myself over because I wrote everything in blue.
Fuck you Wild Pair black pen.
“I like the way she does her eyeliner” r o f Lz
PT. 1———-
I can’t seem to fall asleep and it fucking sucks so I’m doing anything I can to make myself tired. Blogging should help…… I know some of my future… I’ve seen it in a dream. A lot of times people say that dreams don’t tell you about your future. The dream I had a few days ago made me realize something about myself. It made me realize a limit that I had. “Dreams are what the conscious is thinking right before you go to sleep.” I really believe that’s what dreams are because most of the time my dream is something that has happened to me the day before the dream or was something I was thinking about that day. It may be different for you but I don’t really care. This dream I had was something different. It didn’t feel real at all and recently my dreams have been feeling as real as ever. Its to the point where I’m glad I come back to reality and find that everything is “normal”. But sometimes I’m like FUCK when I come back to reality because the dream is better than reality. Anyways, the dream showed me the kind of limit ( a GOOD limit ) I didn’t know I had and this limit relates to my future. It tells me where I’m gonna be in however many days, months, or years. And it tells me “when I find someone… we’re only going to talk about one thing”.
Fact.
PT.2———-
Home should be a place where you feel at “home”. But then again there’s a lot of people who don’t feel that way. Abused woman and children, teenagers, etc. Although I’m not being abused, I don’t feel at “home” when I’m home. Home makes me feel enclosed to the point where its like I’m a psycho in my padded cell room. It just gets me thinking about too much. Things I shouldn’t be thinking about. Recently I’ve been wandering around the streets by myself just to get away from home and to get my mind off of things. Its really working well for me. Counter-Strike used to serve this purpose but it just doesn’t help anymore. I can’t play 2 minutes of CS by myself to get my mind off of something so now I’m resorting to wandering the streets. Someone told me its dangerous and I know that. But whatever I guess… I’d rather risk myself and have my mind cleared of something I don’t want to think about than being at home and turning into a psychopath staring into nothing. There’s a few ways I live my life and one of those ways is being careless. I’ve told myself that your life is better when you’re careless because it helps you not set yourself up for disappointment. BUT…there’s ONE thing I can’t stop caring about and that one thing either keeps me sane or insane. I have no clue how to handle it properly and no I don’t want to see a counselor. Going to see a counselor makes me seem like I’m in need of urgent help because I’m too weak to handle a problem by myself. I know I’ll find a way to handle this one thing… its just gonna take some time. I don’t know how much time but I’ll wait a long time… a really long time.
PT. 3———-
Btw these PT. #’s are different sets of thoughts going through my head. I don’t feel like waiting to post them in 3 different days so I’m writing a really long blog this time. If you’ve read what was going through my head previously and are currently reading this… then you must really care about what I have to say in this blog huh? Why else would you read this… boredom? But my words are boring as well so it shouldn’t help your boredom. Anyways, I can’t seem to fucking sleep still.. its 4:44AM and the last person I called fell asleep randomly =/. I needed to ask that person something too and now I have to wait until that person wakes up in the morning. If you’re reading this, you can remind me to ask you what I wanted to ask you. Right now I’m starting to think about where I’m going to be in a few days, months, years like I said in PT.1. I’m really glad that I had that dream. I just wish I dreamt about this a long time ago, but better late than never. People can be really selfish sometimes.
When I look into those eyes… I see obscurity. But when I look into these eyes… I see the world.
NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sitting in my room listening to music is boring and it gets me thinking about too much. A lot of my friends tell me I tend to think too much when I shouldn’t. Its hard for me to change that though because thats how I grew up.. always thinking about everything and anything. I’m really trying to find something to kill time right now and writing a blog is the best thing I’ve found so far and its not even time consuming because I’m writing this blog quick. Writing whats going through my head at every second. My winamp is playing “The Used – Take It Away” and it gets me thinking about the past only because some of my memories are associated with this song. Reminds me of getting drunk 4 nights in a row during a Thanksgiving weekend with Marlon and his sister and a few other people. It reminds me of Marlon’s one hand scissor kicks. That’s a break dance move if you don’t know what I’m talking about. That shit really was too crazy too. My mind links memories too much too fast. Perry is a crazy mother fucker just like my dad. That’s sort of a good thing and sort of a bad thing and as I get older I see myself turning into a crazy mother fucker just like the both of them. Don’t interpret those statements the wrong way.. When I say crazy mother fucker I mean we do things out of ordinary. I guess random would be the best way to describe it. Everyones random in their own random way though, right? The one thing that’s been on my mind for a while now is love. The kind of love you feel for a special someone you’re sharing your life with or for a special someone you shared a part of your life with. I’ve said the words “I love you” in two different relationships to two different people. And I can say that the second person I said it to was really the only time I really meant it.. and my feelings haven’t changed since then.